I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
