just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
