well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
