Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
