He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
