I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
