so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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