I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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