I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize