I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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