You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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