So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
