yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
