I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
