She said her name was "party"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
