Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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