i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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