Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
