2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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