I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize