White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
