seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
BRING THE BAGELS
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
