TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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