just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Even my vagina gasped.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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