genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
