That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
