Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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