i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
