Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
