a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
