felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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