why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
