two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
