Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
