Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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