i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
