She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
