I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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