Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
