This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Couch. On fire.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
