Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
