yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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