why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
