wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
