the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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