yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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