You're so nebulous sometimes
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
