how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
