So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
