Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
