are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
