I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
