White coat. Heels.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
