butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
