I just pynch a tree in the face
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
