so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
