OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
