So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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