how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
