stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
