Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
